Saying Goodbye

Tomorrow is my last day in India and I am at this moment feeling a mixture of excitement to see everyone, nervousness about re-entering the country, and exhaustion by the goodbyes and “winding up” process that has occurred this week. I had no idea how hard this goodbye was going to be and the main reason it is so hard is because there is no certainty of when I will see these people again, if ever. The last week was basically one goodbye after another. I have come to understand that goodbyes here are a rather big deal. A goodbye involves several formal gatherings with speeches, songs, gifts and prayers that seems to last an unnecessarily long time. But what I experienced during my formal farewells was a genuine and heart-felt send-off, filled with laughter and tears. I cannot even begin to articulate the ways I feel I have changed this year, mostly because I don’t think I am really aware of these changes yet. In fact, I feel I will be discovering the ways I have been changed for the rest of my life. Since I have been here I have learned a lot about just being present with others and not measuring my time with how much I get done in a day. I have lived a quite horizontal lifestyle where I am not constantly climbing a ladder to get to another better destination, a better future. Instead I found meaning in my everyday life, visiting with people, giving of my time and energy without focusing so much on the future. I have found myself, this year, not in the high places of society but instead in the homes of those who are often forgotten about in the great climb to the top. I have learned what it’s like to be at the bottom of the ladder, to hold no high position, no recognized credentials, to not even know the language. I felt all the tools that have taken me twenty five years to develop in order to show I am a capable and cultured woman in society (my intellect, my education, my etiquette), have all been useless here and I have been humbled because of it. I needed to understand these things that society places value on are trivial matters in the face of the greater concern, “how is our neighbor?” Here, my neighbors where those not recognized by society, those with little material possessions, yet it was in these places that I heard my name and felt known. It was in these poorer communities that I felt glimpses of the Kingdom of God because it was in these places that I felt one with the people, loved and cared for. It was the people with little material possessions who reached out to me whole-heartedly. They have nothing to store up or keep safe, but they give freely and generously of what they do have. It is like Jesus said, ““Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth…but store up for yourselves treasures in heaven…For where your treasure is, there your heart will also be (Matthew 6:19-23).” Likewise, theirs is not in obtaining the most, but in being happy with what they have been given. Theirs is not in having a high position but in acknowledging the humanity in all people. And I believe this is what the Kingdom of God is all about. It is a place without ranking or power, a place where each person is acknowledged as equal. When leaving this place, I am carrying home with me the hope of bringing this vision of the Kingdom and living a life that acknowledges humanity in all people rather then focusing on climbing a ladder to the top. This is perhaps the greatest challenge, but one in which I feel there is no better alternative. As the Lord’s Prayer proclaims, “Thy Kingdom Come, Thy Will be Done, on Earth as it is in Heaven.” In India, I have felt acknowledged in my transition from foreigner to friend. I have found deep friendship here and family ties. I have relearned that home is not a location but a place where one is known and what I thought I was leaving last September, I found in the hearts of people half way across the world. And now as I say goodbye I am reminded again of the impermanence of life. The things we learn will fade, the people we know will come and go, the experiences we have will pass, even our loved ones will pass away, but the one thing that remains and carries on even after death, is the love that was shared. And that is main reason this year has been so meaningful for me. I want to thank you all for your support and your insightful and kind words in response to my newsletters. It meant so much to have people support me on such a journey. I will be back on August 1st and would love to come speak about my experience. If you would like, just email meJ. Thank you for keeping me in your prayers. I will be seeing you all very soon